Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Blue Solo Cup

Well here we are in beautiful Texas. We lived through the multi-state move and are awaiting the closing day on a house here in our 26ft Thor Tahoe Camper trailer. Yep four children, two large dogs, and two insane adults couped up in a camper. I am not complaining. In fact it makes for some fun blog posts (hint hint)

Now it has its fun, don't get me wrong. The larger of our dogs can turn over or scratch and it's like we are riding an amusement park ride, hold on and enjoy the ride. In fact, we didn't even feel the earthquakes and all the following aftershocks in nearby Oklahoma city, or if we did, we just thought is was one of the dogs moving around....

Now Texas has been in a terrible state of drought, as you may well know. The area of the state we are in has luckily not been hit too bad by this but others really have. So Texas is always grateful for rain and this week we have had nearly a half inch in one day. For which I too, was grateful for.
Then we went to get into bed... dun dun dahhhhhhhh (thats forbidding scary movie noise if ya didn't know)
From the skylight/vent a drop falls, you see there is a tiny crack.  I do mean TINY! But you guessed it, all that rain found it's way right into that tiny crack. The teeny tiny CRACK ABOVE OUR BED! MY SIDE of the bed to be exact. (folded arms, tapping foot...)
Out came my husbands ever working mind. I love that man and it really is a good fix for the situation, that is until the water dries up and we can get on top to fix it. He grabbed the duct tape, CORRECTION, the Gorilla Tape. For those who don't know, duct tape will fix anything just ask a man and Gorilla tape is Duct tapes, older, stronger, street wise cousin. Get a roll put it in your man's stocking. Promise he will be happy and one day you might be too.
So without any further adeu, here is my version of the Solo cup song, aptly titled Blue Solo Cup.

Blue Solo Cup, ((uh huh)) please don't fill up...there will be no party, there will be no party...
I love you, Blue Solo Cup, my hubby taped you right up...there will be no party, there will be no party....
Now I really love how your easy to to pack, but I don't really hate how your easy to crack, cause when the cold rain runs down my front or my back my bed becomes quite YUCKY!!!
I have to admit that I am quit smitten with how fast and quick this leak is a quittin'
Blue Solo Cup, ((uh huh)) please don't fill up...there will be no party, there will be no party...
I love you, Blue Solo Cup, my hubby taped you right up...there will be no party, there will be no party....
 This is life people! Enjoy it!!! : )

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Volume 1 No.2 Brownies and 5 mile walks

Well here we are again. Nice to see you.....now go invite a few friends to read this bloggety blog too. : )

So in my little world we are currently in the midst of a relocation from one state to another. Uprooting the family, selling our home in a ridiculously upside down market, trying to find a home in yet another ridiculously tight market, changing schools, changing work, being separated from the hubby until we can find a place there and decide what to do here. In the midst of this relocation craziness I have had a somewhat successful yard sale, managed to go grocery shopping with four children wild heathens oh and most important of all I have picked up a wonderful cold along the way. Shivers, chills, clammy, no voice at moments (its hard to yell at kiddos without one ya know), the sneezing, the all around malaise; well I have had enough! That is right I am putting my foot down and not going to let it all get to me.
So I started to think what makes me instantly happy? Winning the lottery? Um duh! But the thing that popped into my head right away was M & M Brownies.  Am I an emotional eater? Ya! What's it to ya? I mean (shrugging my shoulders) aren't we all?

So I am going to cheat and use a store bought brownie mix.I try not to as a general rule because 1. I like to know what goes in there and 2. because I prefer homemade.
Believe it or not the best Brownie mixes are the generic no- name or store brand ones. SERIOUSLY! Would I lie to you? Did you say no? GOOD ANSWER!  You can add to these little babies or leave them as is and they almost never have an issue. It is sad to say that the name brands (you know who you are) suffer sometimes from serious big headed brownie mix egos and I swear to you they never turn out the way they should. In our house we like then dense and fudgy. If I want chocolate cake I will make cake. I want a brownie!

No name brownie mix and add the funnest all occasion, all holiday, never fail to make some one smile candy......drum roll please........M&M's. I used the mini's this go 'round. Mix brownies as instructed on the box, preheat as instructed do everything the instructions say except right before pouring this chocolate-y bowl of wonderfulness into the baking pan mix in about half a bag of mini M&M's. Bake as instructed. Let them cool. NO now I meant it. Let them cool. The aroma fills the house and totally allows the ole taste buds the required amount of time to warm up and be ready to enjoy the heavenly goodness that is a brownie. SIDENOTE: I tried baking brownies in the middle of the night once trying to help the kids stay healthy ok, ok, I really just wanted brownies and I was up. But I can say that the smell of baking brownies wakes small children up better than an alarm clock, a fire alarm, a dog licking their face or me flipping on the lights, throwing back the covers and screaming at them. So if your trying to satisfy your middle of the night cravings and don't want to wake the family or share for that matter, midnight brownie baking is NOT for you.
Now get out your very best brownie knife. WHAT? You have never heard of a brownie knife? Well I think the common term is plastic silverware knife. YEP! Believe it or not they cut brownies perfectly. I keep at least one handy all the time. Don't believe me? Well go bake some in the middle of the night and then try to cut them with a regular butter knife.  DISCLAIMER: if you do your going to have to share 9in a sing song voice).......

My 5 mile walks everyday totally negate the ultra yumminess of these brownies and since I was unable to sweat out the cold (that I seriously thought was a sudden onset of adult allergies) I now intend to sweet talk it right out of my body or put myself into a diabetic coma, whichever comes first.

Speaking of 5 mile walks why is it that if you stop for even 1 minute and begin walking again your muscles decide that moment to revolt against you and make your neighbors think you are a drunk staggering down the street at 10:30 am on a weekday? And then  once again the attack in the middle of the night when your bladder is about to pop. After silently crying and whimpering and drunken like staggering down the hall to the bathroom all the while you think you are being so very very  stealthy. Imagine if you will, that as you try, notice I said try, to seat yourself, it becomes painfully, notice I said painfully, aware that you are in dire need of a handicap rail to lower yourself down and let us not even speak of the crying that takes place as you rise back up.
Why do I do these things to myself? Why because my walking buddy is the best! Have I mentioned her? Well trust me she is the best. She and her family of  nine (7 kids and 2 parents) are amazingly good people. 

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Volume 1 No.1

Ok so it is official, I have started a blog. Where will it go, what will it do, will it do anything? Is it supposed to be Volume 1 No.1 or should it be volume followed by series, or episode, or chapter or Greek tragedy? HMMMM, ok maybe not Greek but tragic, well lets hope not.

 You might be able to tell from the title of the blog that I am a crafter, creator, artist type and I have a serious addiction to food but specifically carbs. Which is probably why I took to cake decorating with such vigor and why my "back porch" is as wide as the barn. : )
A few things you might want to know before progressing further:
* My mind tends to jump off the track like a train running a-muck. I plow through thoughts and ideas until I eventually find a resting place. Mild ADD or ADHD? Probably but alas it is all I know.
* I am a daughter, sister, granddaughter, great granddaughter, niece, cousin, aunt, wife, friend, mother of four and all around lunatic. 
* Sometimes I am inappropriate and shocking. Yep, you guessed it, I have been known to wear a skirt without a slip under it! I know, I know. I bring my family such shame.
* I speak English and Sarcasm. I am fluent in sarcasm, my English is iffy. See is iffy even a word? Spell check didn't catch it.  I pray that none of my past English teachers read this blog.
* Love a good movie or old TV show. I dream of Jeannie, Green Acres, Andy Griffith, Uncle Buck, Airplane, Maverick, Anything by Mel Brooks. Hocus Pocus the list seriously goes one and on and on and on and on........
* My favorite holiday is Halloween. I love the fun of it. Not the gore. You can be anyone you want to be that day. It is all about fun.
* I love me some goodies. Goodies aka treats aka CARBS!

So without any further ado, I will start this blog off with a bang!
Here we gooooooo, buckle your seat belts chickies it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
As I stood in line at the grocery store, I felt a presence. I swear I heard my name being called. As soon as I turned to see who it was my eyes locked, my heartbeat began to race, I swear I couldn't even breathe.
My mind raced between the excitement and the fact that it felt like everyone in the store was seeing this happen. Again I ever so softly heard my voice being called. I willed myself not to move forward.
My mind was strong it was my body that could not resist. I saw a hand reaching. My eyes break away only to flick to the hand. I recognized it instantly. It was my hand.
My arm was reaching out, hand palm down, fingers extended. Moving farther and farther toward the forbidden.
 I suddenly saw my wedding ring. I knew the consequences that were possible. My mind thought of my children, my loving husband, the experiences we had had together and yet my hand still moved closer.
What would the people I know think? What would my children and husband think? What was I thinking? I grasped a hold. I moved as quickly as one can through the checkout process with a chatty checker and then raced home through the streets of my husbands hometown. It felt as every eye I passed had known my intent.
Together we went out to the back porch as no one was home and bringing it into the house was just more than I could fathom.
I enjoyed the moment  and I also felt the guilt. The pleasure and the pain. The sweetness, the thrill and the danger had lured me in. As the moment ended I was ashamed and scared. But, I swear to you this, it has been years since the last time it happened.
That Reeses Peanut Butter Big Cup  is all to blame!  That delicious combination of chocolate and peanut butter was made even more sinful by the fact it was a big cup! It was more than my weakened soul could take.
You see I have a family full of peanut/nut allergy sufferers. My hubby and children all can't enjoy the peanut buttery goodness that lies within. I don't dare eat anything with nuts in it for fear I will harm them and I never bring food containing nuts into the house. I am on bended knee. My sins lay bare for all to see.

Do you think I should buy a Silhouette  (newest 12" x 12" version) or a Cricut? Sorry my mind wandered from carbs to crafts. You see what I mean? My train jumped the track again. 
Yes that whole story was about me enjoying the heckle and jeckle out of a Reeses Peanut Butter cup. Why? Where you thinking something......else? ; )
See ya next time. Same bat time, same bat channel or something batty like that.